After sending my inquiry, I waited three days for a response, and began to fearing I might have frightened him off. I then found out why he had not asked me out. Then I found out why he had not asked me out. It seemed he was dealing with a debilitating illness for some 13 years. Nevertheless he explained this was why traditional dating was out of the question for him. He let me know if I wanted to move on to other matches he would understand. Again, I wasn’t sure what to do. My ultimate goal for being on both dating sites was to find a life partner and this guy didn’t seem like he would be that person.
Again my male friend at work, and a couple of my girlfriends, suggested that I continue with the communications, saying you can never have too many friends. Well, continue we did, and for the next 4 and half months we spoke daily, sending very long letters / e-mails (between 4 to 12 pages in length) to each other. As we continued to write and get to know each other, we started building a solid friendship, of complete honesty, understanding, and love. After about 4 months I started to notice his letters mentioning he was going out here and there (whereas before he seemed almost completely house bound). Again, I broached the question of us possibly dating. Saying honestly to him, if he could start going out a bit, perhaps dating or at least going for coffee would be possible. He wrote back, rather angrily to me, telling me the complete story on his debilitating illness, and how with much effort, he was able to do these recent outings (which were anything but easy for him). He had to plan some outings days ahead of time, and where he was certain he was feeling he could get out a bit now, it was definitely very stressful for him. So, again he stressed dating would be out of the question.
Well, I felt awful; I wasn’t trying to alienate him. I just was not given the full story (up until then) of his illness and exactly why he couldn’t date. he reaffirmed that if I wanted to stop writing him, he would understand. Of course, I said I would continue writing to him; he was now my friend! I did make a choice though, at this time, I would begin communicating and dating the other matches which came my way. Several weeks later, I received an interesting match from a man serving in the military. After some communication, he seemed interested in going for a date. I accepted and later that day when my friend from match e-mailed me I advised of the date to come. No sooner had I advised him of this, he sent me an IM, asking if he could call me later and could he have my phone number. Wow, after almost 4 and half months I was going to get to hear his voice. Our first call turned out to be some 6 hours long, and we indeed began dating slowly, shortly thereafter. If you have not guessed yet, this man turned out to be my best friend and the love of my life. And as I write today, we have been together for 5 years this March 6th.
Well, I got a little off track, but after Bry and I started dating, things could not have been better in my life. I didn’t have my dream job yet, but I had well paying job, where I earned considerable respect. I was dating a wonderful man, had an inexpensive apartment, Taking flying lessons, and my health was great (I had lost some 26 pounds a year and a half prior and never felt better). As with all things in life, I soon a hit road block…